why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
