Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
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when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
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Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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