oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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