Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Alive.
So much puke
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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