Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize