yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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