Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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