I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
