He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
