what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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