jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
