My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize