We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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