R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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