Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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