So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
