You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
