Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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