Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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