Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
