I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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