And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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