I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
