then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize