I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
