Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
