Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
