i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
