Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
