You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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