hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
