Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
