he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
