well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
