So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
