last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
