I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
