Can Purell be used as lube?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
