so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize