You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
