at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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