trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
