Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She even gives head with a lisp.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
