The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
