Kiss
Puke
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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