After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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