Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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