ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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