You're my little dorito
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize