they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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