I'm gonna have a badass scar
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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