a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
