just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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