yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
