After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
