Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
