i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
