Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
