Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
