remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
