he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
