honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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